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The "So Now What?" Podcast

I am a Fertility Survivor.  The kind you enter into treatments hoping you will never be... childless.  After several rounds of IUI and IVF, at some of the leading Fertility Centers, I was told I was no longer a candidate for fertility treatment.  It left me asking myself...

So now what?

For the years that followed, I tried to put myself back together and tell myself I would be OK, but I wasn't.  I was shattered - I felt alone and failed by the whole process and especially, my body.  I yearned for others that felt the pain I felt and someone that could help me navigate a life without a child. 

I didn't find it, so I decide to create it.  

Fast forward to today. I am still childless, but my beliefs about my life have changed.  I decided that I can create meaning and purpose in my life even though I am not a mother.  I've learned to love myself and the body I felt failed me as a woman.

If you've been on this journey, hop on and join me as we create something we were not offered.  Let's create a sisterhood for the bravest women I know.  We brush ourselves off and don't let terms like: Failed, Unexplained, Miscarriage, Not-viable or Advanced Maternal Age define us anymore.  


Sep 7, 2022

Happy Birthday. It is hard to know what you would have blossomed into when I hit "publish" on Episode 1. I was so uncomfortable sharing the emotions I felt and beliefs I clung to for years after failing any last IVF cycle and finding out any one frozen embryo had Trisomy-16 and would never be viable for implantation. For years I clung to this belief that my life would never feel truly full because I could be the thing I most dreamed and yearned to be a mom.

Telling my story to the world felt like such a relief to me.

I spent so much of my time wondering what other people believed about my childlessness -

  • was my marriage on the fritz and children would complicate it?
  • were Jack and I too busy enjoying a Baller lifestyle and too selfish to let kids slow us down?
  • were we having trouble and were people feeling sorry for me?

I spent so much energy worrying how I was being perceived by others and was feeling exhausted by the act I put on every day of someone that was invincible and perfect and defiantly not questioning of my childlessness.

I was exhausted of being an actor in my own life and never hitting myself show the world who I am and what I am capable of, despite not being a mom.

. I love that creating you became the relief others were looking for. And that what you experience after failing IVF is known by so many others out there looking to know they aren't alone in this struggle.

You give me the gift each

week of teaching the tools I have used to make change in my life, so infertile women everywhere can create change for themselves and feel in control of their future again.

I've learned that feeling my feelings of question or discomfort about my value in each episode doesn't have to stop me from showing up lack week.

Thank you for being a forum of over 9,000 people that are search for a message of hope that it is possible to live a life you truly love even if you're not a worm.

As I was thinking of this episode, it dawned on me that feeling a sense of accomplishment and creation exists for me, and it can exist for you even if it isn't by having a human child. In one year I created this and I offer you the opportunity to consider what it is in your life you can give birth to? The possibilities seem

nonexistent when your brain is wired to tell you a story that ends in a shoulder shrug and messages of uncertainty. You just never met anyone that offered you the concept that more is waiting for you.

You posers every perfect gift

you need within you right now, its just that no

one has ever given you the tools to believe a different story about you and about your future, Imagine where you can be 1 year from now if you decided that you were ready to feel alive and excited again.

Imagine how it would feel if you believed that your story wasn't sad and you were the worst-case scenario anymore.

Even if we've never met, I want you to know that I believe in you and I know you are capable of creating a life you love even though you couldn't become a mom. If you are ready, I've got you. you are just in time to Join us in the next Thrive

After Infertility Mastermind. Thrive is a 3 month small group class that will help

you learn the tools and how to apply them in your

life so you can go from feeling disappointed and confused to fulfilled is purposeful. I cant wait to show you how easy it is!

Thank you for showing up here every week