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The "So Now What?" Podcast

I am a Fertility Survivor.  The kind you enter into treatments hoping you will never be... childless.  After several rounds of IUI and IVF, at some of the leading Fertility Centers, I was told I was no longer a candidate for fertility treatment.  It left me asking myself...

So now what?

For the years that followed, I tried to put myself back together and tell myself I would be OK, but I wasn't.  I was shattered - I felt alone and failed by the whole process and especially, my body.  I yearned for others that felt the pain I felt and someone that could help me navigate a life without a child. 

I didn't find it, so I decide to create it.  

Fast forward to today. I am still childless, but my beliefs about my life have changed.  I decided that I can create meaning and purpose in my life even though I am not a mother.  I've learned to love myself and the body I felt failed me as a woman.

If you've been on this journey, hop on and join me as we create something we were not offered.  Let's create a sisterhood for the bravest women I know.  We brush ourselves off and don't let terms like: Failed, Unexplained, Miscarriage, Not-viable or Advanced Maternal Age define us anymore.  

 

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  2. Navigating Thanksgiving with Gratitude: A Guide for Women Childless After Infertility

Navigating Thanksgiving with Gratitude: A Guide for Women Childless After Infertility

Nov 23, 2023

Navigating Thanksgiving with Gratitude: A Guide for Women Childless After Infertility

Introduction:

Hey there, it's Lana Manikowski, and welcome to another episode of The “So Now What?” Podcast. Whether you're tuning in on your way to Thanksgiving festivities or catching this afterward, I've got some tools that are universally helpful, especially for women navigating Thanksgiving without children after infertility.

Acknowledging Your Feelings:

First and foremost, let's acknowledge that your feelings are valid. There's no right or wrong way to feel during this time. If you're like many of the incredible women I work with, you might be feeling a mix of emotions—maybe some anxiety, discomfort, or even a sense of being stuck. The key here is to recognize and accept where you are without judgment.

Preparing for Family Gatherings:

As you gear up for Thanksgiving, imagine yourself driving to the celebration. Picture the house, the driveway, the familiar faces. Anticipate potential questions about your motherhood status. This mental preparation can help soften the impact of uncomfortable moments when they arise.

Crafting Your Responses:

Consider how you want to respond to those inevitable questions. It's entirely up to you. Whether you choose a straightforward "thanks for asking, but I prefer not to discuss it" or a bit of humor, having a prepared response can give you a sense of control over the situation.

Changing Your Perspective:

Now, let's shift our focus. Instead of dwelling on what's missing, explore gratitude for what you do have in your life. This isn't about comparison; it's about recognizing the blessings that may have been overshadowed by the grief of infertility. From the strength to face each day to the relationships that bring you joy, find gratitude in the present moment.

Creating New Traditions:

Embrace the opportunity to start new traditions. Maybe it's playing turkey bingo or introducing a board game to the family gathering. Creating fresh experiences can bring a sense of joy and fulfillment that transcends the challenges of your fertility journey.

Communicating with Allies:

If you have supportive family members or friends, communicate with them beforehand. Let them know if you might need a subtle rescue from uncomfortable conversations. Having an ally can make a significant difference in navigating tricky situations with grace.

Conclusion:

As you approach Thanksgiving, remember that it's never too late to discover meaning and joy in your journey. I'm grateful for this ongoing conversation and the beautiful community we're building together. Wishing you a Thanksgiving filled with moments of gratitude, new traditions, and the support of those who truly understand. I love you, and remember, it's never too late to discover your meaning. Talk to you next week!