Mar 7, 2023
I am so excited to talk to you this week about an area of focus that I learned. When I was in my life coach certification. Something, my teacher, Brooke Castillo taught me about consuming versus creating.
One of the things that brought this topic to light for me most recently was receiving a message from one of my listeners of the podcast, and I'm gonna read you this message I received from her on Instagram. She lives in New Zealand, an awesome woman who found me through the podcast. I'm gonna read you what this beautiful message had to share:.
These reflections are thanks in part to your podcast today marks pretty much a year since our last embryo transfer was unsuccessful and we ended our TTC journey. It still hurts and always will. , but I feel like I'm slowly emerging as myself again. I've been through counseling, which has helped me deal with my grief, but also works on other aspects I needed to move forward.
I started yoga and have been on several overnight hikes with some of my close girlfriends. My husband and I have a five week holiday planned renovations, and I am exploring what is next in my career. I would never wish this situation on anyone, but it's the one I have, and finding a way forward has reminded myself who I am. Receiving this message made me so proud that this listener decided to create something from the episodes that she consumes every week of the Sona.
What podcast? I think back to some of the episodes she referenced. I was thinking about episode 32. Who are you? So knowing that she's starting to find herself, episode 41. Friendships when you're childless. So here she is connecting with girlfriends and going on overnight trips. Episode 54.
Will my marriage be enough? Taking time to carve out more in her relationship with her husband. And then there was one in there about her career. I talked about that just a couple weeks ago about your career. When you discover that you're gonna be childless, what's that next step that you're gonna take?
Being somebody who doesn't just show up every week, consuming the content, but actually learning how to implement it. In your daily life, and that's really where the growth and the longevity to this information really comes through. How are you gonna take this information in? What are you going to do by listening to an episode?
Are you actually somebody who is going to implement the work? Maybe sit down and do the paper thinking, or are you just going to take in the information, feel like you did something because you listened to a podcast or maybe you bought a book and for you buying that book, you may be thinking that doing something to help yourself, but if you are just reading the words on a page and not actually implementing them into your life, How were you gonna create that change for yourself?
It was so moving to me because I was somebody in the beginning that just thought if I lined my bookshelf with books, that would all of a sudden create the change. But it wasn't until I actually fired a coach and I worked with a coach and I gave. The ability to be a learner and take in the information and realize that I'm not gonna necessarily know how to do it right in the beginning.
But the more I tried and the more I practiced and the more I implemented the tools that I was given, then I started to see the change. I highly recommend you take some sort of action. Maybe it's taking a class. or signing up with me for Thrive after infertility and dive deeper and implement the concepts that you're learning and give yourself the ability to learn and take in and choose just a couple of concepts and commit to yourself. That's why I do my Thrive container in 12 week increments. Committing to 12 weeks gives you a short amount of time that doesn't feel like it's such a heavy lift for you to take in all this information and commit to a year of working with me, commit to 12 weeks.
Commit to one or two goals that you wanna focus on. Maybe it's learning how to accept somebody's words when they ask you if you have any kids. or they tell you, “You can always adopt”. That is something that I work on continuously and something that I have seen so much growth and because I've decided how I want to take in those words, how do I want to think about myself when somebody tells me I could always adopt. I used to think that they didn't think I tried hard enough to become a mom, but through the work that I've done, I realize now that they're just offering me some sort of comfort. That might be how they respond to the belief that they have that they couldn't imagine what their life would be like if they weren't a mom.
So they feel like they need to tell me something that will make me feel better. But I've done my work on this. It's something that I was committed to and got clear about what I made those words mean. When someone said those words to me, I would have a side conversation with myself and say, okay, Lana. Like literally I, I have these conversations in my head. I would be like, okay, Lana, what are you making that mean? They said, you can always adopt four words and what am I making those four words mean about me? I could choose anything I wanted, but if I was choosing to believe that they didn't think I tried hard enough, then of course I would always be rattled by those words.
Of course, I would feel shame about my inability to become a mom, but when I decided that I could believe something else about those words and start to feel less unraveling when people said those things to me, that's when I started to get my freedom and composure back. When people say things to me, how I interpret them is up to me.
But if I'm just consuming this information and not actually trying out how it comes up for me and how I respond to it, and the story that I tell myself about me, that I'm never gonna grow beyond it.
I have 76 episodes to date for you to learn something from each episode - maybe if there's one or two that have resonated with. Make a 12 week commitment to yourself on your own. If you're not ready to join, thrive totally fine, but make that 12 week commitment to yourself on your own time that you're gonna focus on one of these topics that I teach and actually create from it.
It's like going to a Pinterest page and liking all these recipes or liking all these DIY projects. but never actually trying that. So you'll never learn how to make the Dollar Store Christmas wreath. I give that as an example because that's something that I actually implemented. I created from saving the Dollar store ornament wreath in my Pinterest page, and I decided that I was gonna try it the first time - Did not look good.
Second time got better.
Third time I realized I needed a hot glue gun.
Fourth time I realized I needed different sized ornaments. And then here I was creating these beautiful wreaths that I was giving away to everyone cuz I was having so much fun creating them.
As you're listening to the podcast, I invite you to not just consume the information I create, but think about putting a price tag on it.
Imagine I charged you a $10,000 access fee to the podcast. If you knew that you were paying $10,000, you would probably be expecting to take something away from it. Imagine that you have paid me $10,000 to listen to my last 76 episodes. What will you take away from an.
to make that worth your $10,000. Thank you for listening. If you haven't yet, I'm gonna invite you to please go on Apple or Spotify or wherever you listen to this podcast and give me your review. Let me know what you have taken from this. Even if you haven't had a chance yet to implement something, let me know in a podcast review.
What has resonated with you in this podcast? I've come to learn that the more reviews we have, the more these algorithm Gods share this podcast with others. Or if you're listening to this on YouTube, leave me your review on YouTube, because the more women that get access to this through reading up review, the more women can find the message that they can actually thrive and feel fulfilled even if they weren't able to have the children they always dreamed of.
So, have a beautiful week. I love you. And remember, it is never too late to discover your meaning. I'll talk to you next.