on this week's
podcast,
I'm
going
to
talk
to
you
about
what's
wrong
with
being
sad.
Okay,
you
ready?
I'll
cut
to
the
chase
and
tell
you
in
one
word.
What's
wrong
with
being
sad?
Nothing.
There
is
absolutely
nothing
not
one
thing
wrong
with
being
sad
around
the
holidays.
Yet
somehow
we
have
this
level
of
discomfort
with
feeling
sadness,
and
I
know
I
get
it.
We
judge
ourselves
when
we
aren't
all
smiles
and
when
we
aren't
all
cheery
and
we
just
don't
know
how
to
truly
get
curious
about
it
or
understand
it,
let
alone
feel
it.
Because
we're
too
busy
judging
ourselves
for
feeling
sadness
and
a
time
when
we're
expecting
ourselves
to
be
joyous.
And
we
think
that
others
expect
us
to
be
joyous.
So
give
yourself
some
grace
and
some
love
to
be
sad.
It
makes
sense
the
holidays.
Bring
a
lot
of
emotions
up
for
us.
It's
one
more
year
that
we
didn't
get
pregnant
one
more
year,
that
we
don't
have
a
child
to
help
write
a
letter
to
Santa
or
dress
them
up
to
go
stand
in
that
line
at
the
mall
and
sit
on
Santos
lap.
It's
okay
to
be
sad.
It's
okay
to
feel
lonely
and
misunderstood.
And
know
that
you're
not
alone
in
this.
People
will
try
to
cheer
you
up
and
say
things
that
don't
necessarily
move
your
needle
on
sadness.
And
it's
okay.
Dec 14, 2021
Speaker 1
And I think people
just
genuinely
feel
discomfort
when
people
are
sad
around
them.
So
they
think
that
they
have
to
come
up
with
these
exceptional
things
to
say
to
get
you
out
of
here.
or
sadness.
And
in
oftentimes
it
gets
us
to
a
point
where
we
even
feel
more
sadness
around
the
words
that
they
say,
I
was
working
with
one
of
my
clients
this
week
that's
been
having
a
lot
of
judgment
for
herself
around
how
she's
feeling
about
the
holidays.
And
she
shared
her
sadness
with
one
of
her
girlfriends,
who
was
trying
to,
I
think,
make
her
feel
better.
Her
friend
said,
when
she
was
talking
about
how
she
was,
you
know,
really
dreading
the
upcoming
holidays,
and
just
really
looking
forward
to
them.
Her
friend
was
basically
telling
her
not
to
forget
why
we
celebrate
Christmas,
that
it
has
nothing
to
do
with
having
a
child
and
writing
letters
to
Santa
or
Christmas
shopping
or
sitting
on
Santos
lap,
but
it's
a
celebration
of
the
birth
of
Christ.
And
that
she
should
really
stop
focusing
so
much
on
the
fact
that
she's
sad
about
being
childless.
So
we
got
to
talking
about
this
in
our
session.
And
when
we
got
to
the
nitty
gritty
of
what
was
going
on
with
those
words
that
were
said
to
her,
we
identified
that
she
was
thinking
that
she
should
be
handling
this
differently.
And
when
she's
thinking
that
she
should
be
handling
it
differently,
she's
feeling
embarrassed.
And
from
a
feeling
of
embarrassment,
she's
downplaying
her
feelings.
She's
clamming
up,
she's
judging
herself.
And
she's
not
letting
herself
feel
her
feelings.
So
as
long
as
she's
thinking,
I
should
be
handling
this
differently
and
feeling
embarrassed,
she
doesn't
handle
or
confront
her
feelings.
And
so
she's
almost
setting
herself
up
for
this
constant
avoidance
of
her
feelings
and
embarrassment
for
her
feelings.
Because
she's
simply
telling
herself
that
she
should
be
doing
something
differently.
And
if
you
are
a
client
of
mine,
or
know
about
the
way
that
I
practice,
in
my
coaching
practice,
you
know
that
you
are
always
in
control
of
how
you
want
to
think,
and
how
you
want
to
feel.
And
people
can
say
whatever
the
hell
they
want.
And
it
may
be
from
a
place
of
empathy,
or
not,
or
they
may
say
something
that's
really
heartless
and
comes
off
very
hurtful
to
you.
But
regardless
of
what
words
are
said
to
you,
you
always
have
control
of
how
you
interpret
the
words
that
are
said
to
you.
So
as
we
continued
on
in
our
session,
we
really
worked
through
some
alternative
thoughts
that
she
could
have,
instead
of
thinking
I
should
be
handling
this
differently.
We
decided
that
a
better
thought
would
be,
I'm
doing
the
best
that
I
can.
And
when
she's
thinking
the
thought,
I'm
doing
the
best
that
I
can.
She's
feeling
so
much
more
compassion
for
herself.
So
she's
feeling
compassionate.
And
from
a
sense
of
feeling
of
compassion,
she
can
then
just
get
curious
about
why
those
words
are
bothering
her,
not
judge
herself,
and
when
so
when
she's
getting
curious
and
not
judging
herself.
She's
truly
putting
herself
in
her
needs
first.
So
it's
just
the
opportunity,
we
have
to
just
evaluate
the
thoughts
that
we
come
up
with
in
our
mind.
And
just
get
curious
about
the
thought
and
play
a
little
bit
with
deciding
is
that
a
thought
that's
useful
to
me
is
that
thought,
creating
the
feelings
that
I
want
to
have
on
a
daily
basis.
Because
as
long
as
you
give
your
operative
opportunity
to
think
and
feel
to
somebody
else,
for
words
that
come
out
of
their
mouth,
you're
always
going
to
be
held
hostage
by
others.
And
not
taking
control
of
the
life
in
the
feelings
and
the
emotions
that
come
along
with
we
being
humans.
So
when
it
comes
to
the
holidays,
and
if
you
find
yourself
feeling
sad,
feel
sad.
Speaker 1
There's
absolutely
nothing
wrong
with
being
sad,
because
if
we
don't
feel
sadness,
we
never
find
joy.
And
life
is
5050
Folks,
we've
talked
about
that
before
that,
if
we
don't
get
down
in
the
dumps,
if
we
don't
allow
ourselves
to
go
into
the
pits
and
valleys,
we'll
never
know
what
it
feels
like
to
summit
the
mountain.
So
as
we
get
closer
and
closer
to
what
I
call
a
date
on
the
calendar,
so
it
could
be
a
birthday,
it
could
be
Christmas,
it
could
be
New
Years,
there's
just
this
number
that
falls
on
a
calendar
that
we
give
so
much
power
to
how
we
think
we
should
feel
or
what
we
should
be
accomplishing
on
this
date,
or
what
we
should
have
achieved
by
this
date.
And
all
it
is,
is
numbers
on
a
calendar.
So
if
you
want
to
feel
sad,
God
bless
you
go
feel
sad,
if
you
want
to
feel
sad
half
the
day
and
decide
that
you
want
to
crawl
out
of
your
covers,
and
just
appear
and
just
show
up.
Do
that
too.
But
there's
absolutely
no
one
who
should
have
expectations
for
how
you
feel
and
how
you
show
up
more
than
you.
So
as
you
know,
I
am
a
huge
proponent
of
feeling
your
feelings
and
not
shying
away
from
your
feelings,
not
judging
yourself,
for
your
feelings.
But
just
get
curious
about
your
feelings.
Because
the
more
we
feel
our
feelings,
we
realize
that
we
are
human
that
we
survive.
And
the
more
that
we
feel
these
things,
our
hearts
and
our
mind
is
open
to
feeling
all
of
the
wonderful
things
that
go
on
in
our
lives
to
feel
it
all.
And
love
it
all
and
embrace
it
all.
And
get
curious
about
it
all
and
you
will
live
such
a
robust
and
honest
and
truthful
life
for
yourself.
That's
it
for
this
week.
Thank
you
so
much
for
all
the
support
and
all
the
love.
And
I
wanted
to
ask
if
you
could
just
please
go
on
and
give
me
a
rating
and
leave
me
a
comment.
If
you
know
anything
about
technology
and
rankings
these
days,
the
more
commentary
and
the
more
involvement
I
have
from
the
community.
The
more
my
podcast
will
show
up
when
people
are
searching
for
a
community
like
ours.
So
if
you
could
just
take
a
moment
to
give
me
a
rating
and
leave
just
a
comment.
I
would
certainly
appreciate
it.
Have
an
awesome
week
and
remember,
it's
never
too
late
to
discover
your
meeting.
tatty
next
week
but
bye