May 30, 2023
As a woman who is diagnosed as an unexplained infertility
patient, and I know if you are a woman who has experienced
infertility or is childless not by choice, you may experience close
friends or close family that have become moms or have successfully.
Gone through fertility treatments and been able to have a child,
and you feel super disconnected to those people, and maybe you
might feel defeated because your dream of being a mom and this
dream that you carried around for so long did not ever come true
for you.
Or maybe you thought being a mom would be the thing that gave you
so much purpose and so much fulfillment in your life, and now
you're living this. New reality and you're just trying to figure
out like, how did I get here? Like this world that I'm living in
makes no sense and you might feel like you aren't prepared for this
future that's ahead of you.
And so what happens is your brain. That oftentimes is the thing
that we look for to create clarity for us, creates these
assumptions. About what our life's gonna be like if we are remain
childless, not by choice. And it creates a lot of judgment for us.
Without us asking it to, our brain automatically goes to this place
that it's been trained to be.
It's been trained to think that if you are a woman who wanted kids
and you weren't able to have kids, that all of a sudden you are the
worst case scenario. That you are the sad one in the room, that you
can't relate to people around you. And when we don't know how to
make sense of what is going on in our brain, we then judge
ourselves and we question like, why not me?
And you feel probably like you got cheated. And I first wanna say
that this is all very normal. There's nothing wrong with you. But
the problem is that people don't talk about these things. People
don't openly share their stories. People don't openly share their
struggles, and so you feel like you have to navigate this alone,
and I'm gonna help you manage that today.
So let's first talk about some of the mistakes that people make
when they become childless, not by choice and why they feel so
disconnected. So you might find that you blame yourself for not
following your protocol correctly. That. You weren't able to have a
kid because you didn't take your trigger shot at exactly 4:06 AM
when you were told to, or maybe you were 30 minutes late taking one
of your medications, and so you're telling yourself that it was you
who caused this.
Or maybe you heard people tell you that you should be more relaxed
and you weren't relaxed enough. Cuz let's be honest, who can be
relaxed? When we're going through IVF infertility treatments, but
you might be telling yourself that it's your fault that you didn't
relax enough. And so you start comparing yourself to the women or
your friends or colleagues that you know that went through IVF and
you say, you know what?
It makes sense that they were able to have a kid and I wasn't.
Because you're telling yourself that they did it right and you did
it wrong, or maybe you think it's a punishment. And maybe you're
thinking that there is something that you did in your past and you
might not know what it is, but you think that you not being able to
become a mom is a punishment for, for something that you did in
your past.
And maybe you believe these thoughts that your brain offers you
about being childless, not by choice and your inability to become a
mom. And that creates separation for you between people that you
love in your life. Maybe your best friend at work just found out
that she is gonna be a mom and you feel so disconnected from
her.
It's not that you've done anything wrong or that you're not a good
friend, or that you're not caring and supportive and loving. It's
just that your brain is designed to tell you that something's wrong
with you, and that creates separation for you and people around
you. And maybe. Like you just don't know where to go and you might
not be able to like come to grips with things, but I really wanna
help you get there and I wanna help you get there because I have
been there.
I have been that person who judged myself for feeling jealousy
around a friend's pregnancy announcement or not wanting to go to
somebody's kid's first birthday party. And so I really want to help
you get to a point that you can feel proud of who, who you are,
even if you weren't able to have the children you always dreamed
of.
So what I first wanna do is think about like comparing, cuz I think
a lot of us compare our stories with others. So think about what
you do when you're comparing, what are you feeling? When you feel
like you're, when you're comparing yourself to somebody, you might
feel insufficient. Maybe you feel inadequate, maybe you feel broken
when you're comparing yourself in your story or your outcome of
childlessness to somebody else.
And so when you're feeling broken, I want you to think like, what
are some things that you're thinking when you feel broken? What's
something that you might think when you feel disconnected? Maybe
something's wrong with me. I didn't do it right. My body didn't do
what it was supposed to do. I mean, how many of us really think
that like we have this body and just because we're a female, that
we are supposed to have kids?
And so you tell yourself that your body didn't do what it was
supposed to do. I know it's just feels so suffocating when you
think that way. And so I wanna tell you first that the one thing
that you do have control over is how you think about yourself and
how you think about your story and your circumstance of being
childless, not by choice.
And that's really the only thing that we can control is. What we
think about ourselves and truly what has given so many women that I
work with, and me included the power to feel freedom and joy and
love for our lives, even though we're childless, is that we tap
into that power. This ability that we have to think what we want to
think about ourselves.
Cuz there is nobody who has told us that we have to believe this
story that has us feeling broken and disconnected and isolated from
people. But because at the end of the day how you really want to
live your life and the reality that you wanna create for yourself
is this experience. That should feel so much better than it
does.
But we have decided to tell ourselves that we as somebody who d we
as women who don't have kids, just don't have a choice in the
matter. And I just wanna know how would you wanna feel when you
talk to somebody who tells you that they're having a child? Or
maybe when you run into somebody that you haven't seen for a long
time and they ask you like, oh, did you ever end up having
kids?
Like, how do you want to feel about that story? Do you wanna feel
proud? Do you wanna feel, maybe you just wanna feel okay. Maybe you
wanna feel just less shame around your story because I think so
many of us haven't really thought, maybe you haven't even thought
about the fact that you can feel differently.
When somebody asks you if you have any kids or how many kids you
have, or if you've thought about adoption, maybe you don't wanna
feel angry anymore. Maybe you wanna feel at peace with those
questions or about your circumstance of being childless, not by
choice. And of course, I still experience these things.
All this work that I've done and all these coaches that I've worked
with, and the hours that I have spent. Becoming a certified coach.
I still go through some of that myself, but I have these tools that
I'm able to tap into that allow me to realize that I don't have to
think these thoughts forever that make me feel like I didn't do
enough or I didn't follow my protocol enough.
And sometimes they creep in and I notice them and I allow myself to
feel them, but I've decided that I don't have to believe them. I
can listen to them. And just decide, you know what, not today. Or
maybe there's days that I do feel bad and that's okay too. And it's
all begins with understanding the power that we have as women,
whether we had our dream family or not, we have this power that
nobody can take away from us.
And no one talks about it in the infertility community. And that's
what just blows my mind that we have all this power. That nobody
tells us how to use, and that's exactly why it's so important for
me to tell my story and why I decided that feeling shameful for not
being able to have kids was not as important as it is for me to
tell a story that allows other women to have their eyes open, that
you can actually learn something after this journey that ended up
so differently than you thought it would.
That I could share my story and teach you something that can help
you feel proud of who you are and feel proud of your story. Like
that's why I tell my story. That's why I show up here on Facebook.
Whether one person is watching or 4,000 people are watching, I'll
never stop telling my story because there's this freedom we have in
our thoughts and our beliefs about ourself and our journey that
nobody talks about.
So I may be the only one you hear this from, and I invite you to
just take this in and just imagine yourself feeling free again and
thriving again, and feeling fulfilled because I know you're used to
that. I know that is the life that you once led before your
diagnosis of infertility came your way and.
I want you to know that that life is still available to you and
that life doesn't have to feel gloomy and hard and disappointing.
And I want you to just pause for a moment and just even if you
close your eyes with me and just close your eyes and imagine that
freedom that you so desire to feel again and that there's a better
life for you.
And so when you imagine this feeling of fulfillment, And like your
life has purpose even without kids or without you being a mom. And
imagine that you created this legacy with your life that had
nothing to do with how many viable pregnancies or embryos or
miscarriages, or any of that. Just imagine that you left this
legacy behind that had nothing to do with that part of your
life.
And so if there's any small part of you that feels like there's
just this inkling in you where you can create a legacy that doesn't
include having a child and that you know deep in your bones that
you want to thrive after infertility journey, then I want you to
stick around and I just want you to hang out for a few moments.
Because I wanna share something with you that will absolutely
change your life. And I wanna start by saying that if you're
watching this, it's not by coincidence. I used to think that things
randomly happened in my life and it was just luck, or it was just a
coincidence. But I can tell you there is just way too much that has
happened in my life that I know that you watching this right now
and resonating with my story and maybe hearing someone say things
that you feel.
And have felt silently for so long. That's not a coincidence. I
believe that you called me into this space, that you just happened
to be scrolling and you came across my live and you're like, oh my
gosh, like this woman is calling me. This woman is telling me my
story, and that you know that there's so much that you've been
dealing with alone.
And to finally hear someone. Know what you've been feeling and
resonate with what you're feeling is not a coincidence. I'm gonna
tell you that because there's just so much connection that I think
we are not open to in our lives. So I just wanna say thank you. And
if you're feeling like you want to thrive and you wanna feel
fulfilled again without the children that you always dreamed of
that, I wanna tell you about my mastermind.
So I started the Thrive After Infertility Mastermind because there
was so much that I yearned for when I was trying to navigate my
years and months after realizing that I wouldn't become a mom, and
after deciding that I wasn't gonna adopt and deciding that an A
donor wasn't the right decision for me and I want, I decided to
create something for women that I know I needed because the
women.
That I work with and the women in my community are women that are
used to being very successful. They're used to knowing, being
aware, and knowing how to create a goal and achieve it, or to have
a focus that they, they know they want to get somewhere in life and
they've just always known how to. Stumble every block that has been
put in front of them and climb every wall that has put been put in
front of them.
But when it came to becoming a mom, that wasn't possible. And so
when I created the Thrive After Infertility Mastermind, it was to
help women discover that life could be good again, and life could
be easy again, and you could look forward to your future again.
Because I know that you have spent a long time believing that your
best years are behind you.
And you might even believe that there is, is just life is gonna
always be at 80% and maybe there's many days you wake up feeling
good, but you haven't felt great in a long time. Then you need to
join and hear about the Thrive After Infertility Mastermind. And
let me first tell you what we do. So I created the Thrive process,
and the Thrive process is, I, when I say, when I tell you about
them, they seem super simple and frankly they are.
But if you've never experienced this opportunity to take control of
your beliefs and your thoughts about your infertility, you might
think, huh, that seems a little difficult. But let me tell you,
it's not. So I'm gonna take you through my Thrive process. So the
Thrive process, the first thing we do in step one is dropping our
sad story.
So I know that you're probably tired of people feeling sorry for
you because you're used to being a high achiever and an
overachiever, and you might feel like there's constant, like people
getting quiet around you or feeling like, like they need to tiptoe
around you. And what we do in step one when we reframe our sad
story is we decide that we can develop like, This vision of
ourselves and vision of our future.
And so what I do in Step one of the program is that I help you
realize that you don't need a child to create a legacy and you can
live a life that expands beyond just having kids. And you'll learn
how to get connected to a future that you didn't even like Fathom
was possible. And you'll no longer be bothered by people that show
you sympathy.
Or when you tell 'em that you don't have kids, they put their hand
on their chest and they say, I'm so sorry. Like how many times have
you heard that? So in step one of the program, we drop our sad
story, and then in step two we start to reestablish connection with
ourselves. So you might find yourself feeling disconnected from
others and even more so disconnected from yourself because there's
this loneliness and this belief that you have that.
Life just didn't turn out like it was supposed to, and you just
don't recognize that woman you see in the mirror because life is
just so different than you thought it would be. So when we work
together in the Thrive After Infertility Mastermind, I'll teach you
how to reestablish that connection with yourself and you'll see
that you just can have such a fulfilling.
Future, and I'll help you figure out how to create this desire for
this life that is so much bigger than motherhood. And I know that
sounds so crazy to imagine life feeling even bigger than being a
mom, but it's true. And I teach you that and the Thrive After
Infertility Mastermind. And then thirdly, what we do is we release
this weight that we carry around of infertility.
And I know it feels like this burden to wake up and just wonder
what you're gonna do with this next 40 years of your life. And we
work through that and thrive. We don't worry about what we're gonna
fill our future with or what we're gonna spend our days doing
because I help you get. Reconnected to yourself in this sense of
purpose that you have, and we uncover these passions for life that
seem like they've been hidden forever, and hobbies that you'll be
like, my gosh, I never even imagined that I'd find myself doing
this.
And maybe even these gifts that you were born with that you've
never even realized you had. I'll help you just figure out how to.
Release this weight that you've been carrying around since your
fertility journey ended with no kids. So if this speaks to you at
all, and if you're yearning those things that I know I yearned for
for so long, then you'll want to apply to the Thrive After
Infertility Mastermind because thrive after infertility.
Not only does it help you create this life you love, you do it with
women who have been on your journey. And I think that was something
that I was so yearning for for so long after my fertility journey
ended without kids. Like I just wanted to know that there was other
women out there that felt this emptiness that I felt.
So in the Mastermind you'll be surrounded by women who have been on
this same journey and will come together. Once a week for 12 weeks,
like for three months, we will just form this amazing connection
and this bond and the support for one another because it's not like
a support group in the, in the way that women show up and they're
just complaining about their life.
Like the women that join the Thrive after Infertility mastermind,
can't wait to come on. And talk about the breakthroughs that they
made in their life. Like imagine hearing someone who's been on your
journey share an idea of how their mind just opened up to a life
that feels easy again. Or maybe how they were able to handle
getting a baby shower invitation for their best friend's baby
shower, and they come every week and you have this time to share
together about the things that worked really, really well.
And also imagine having this stumbling block during the week. We
have this group chain where we have this group text and people drop
stuff in the text throughout the week and say, Hey, I'm really
struggling, or This just happened. Can you guys listen to me for a
little bit? And knowing that you have this support system and when
the Thrive After Infertility Mastermind ends that support
system.
Just keeps going. And I have seen some of the most beautiful and
amazing friendships that have been created through the Thrive After
Infertility Mastermind. And the greatest thing is, is that you'll
have me in your corner and you'll feel, and you'll, you'll like
feel supported and just understood.
Because I have lived this journey. I'm not just somebody who's
talking about all this stuff without having done it myself. Like I
have been in the hollows. Of life after, after infertility failed.
I know how it feels to feel stuck and feel just so desiring of
feeling better, but not knowing where to go.
Like, I will be with you throughout this whole mastermind, cheering
you on, listening to you drying your tears, whatever you need. And
I just want you to give yourself the permission to honor this voice
inside of you and this desire that I know you have to feel better.
And I know you may think that time's gonna just heal
everything.
I waited a long time, ladies, like I waited a really long time to
think that all of a sudden more months and more years were gonna
pass on the calendar. And then I would just wake up feeling great
one day. And the sad part is I didn't. So when I created the Thrive
After Infertility Mastermind, I did it with the mindset of knowing
that I'm gonna show up, giving you what I needed, but also
listening to what you need.
I don't have this preset, you know, curriculum or lesson plan. It's
just the three steps that I talked about with you, and we
personalize them to the members in the Thrive After Infertility
Mastermind, I ask you what you are seeking. I don't just give you
what worked for me, what worked for me may be good, it may help
you, but it's more important for me to know what you're seeking and
what you're looking for.
And I do that in the Thrive After Infertility Mastermind. So if
this at all is speaking to you, I want you to listen to this voice.
Cause it's not by circumstance that you just happened to listen to
this far into the live. I think you really know that you wanna feel
better, and I can help you get there.
So what I did is here on the page, I put in my link to, uh,
schedule a discovery call. A discovery call is a free 45 minute
call where we can just share ideas. Tell me what's, what's been
holding you back. Tell me where you're feeling like you need the
most support. I'll listen. If you want me to, you know, provide any
commentary, I'm happy to, but even if it's just me listening for 45
minutes, I would be so happy to give you that time and gift you
that time, cuz I know how rare it is to have someone that you can
openly talk to about your journey.
Schedule a discovery call that gives us some time to just hear your
story, talk about your story. I'll share a little bit about the
Mastermind and see if we're a good fit to work together, cuz that's
one thing I have such high integrity for what I do because I know
how vulnerable you feel right now.
And I know that you'd probably pay a million dollars to feel
better, but I wouldn't take a million dollars from someone that I
didn't think I could help. I wouldn't take a hundred dollars from
somebody that I didn't think that I could help. So that's why I
have a discovery call and I have an application process to the
Thrive After Infertility Mastermind because I think it's so
important for me and you to be on the same page with one
another.
Because I want you to thrive. I want you to feel fulfilled. I want
you to know that your story matters and that you have a legacy that
is important and will last you way beyond your lifetime. So if that
sounds like something that you're interested in, book a call. I
would love to just hear what, what I can do to help you and really
help you feel like life could be easy again, because I know for so
long.
I spent life feeling like really heavy and feeling like I just
didn't know where to go and I didn't know who to talk to, and that
I was just sick of being this the worst case scenario amongst my
friends. So I would love to be that for you and if I could help at
all, just, just book a discovery call and, um, listen to that voice
because it really matters.
It means something that you listen today.