Preview Mode Links will not work in preview mode

The "So Now What?" Podcast

I am a Fertility Survivor.  The kind you enter into treatments hoping you will never be... childless.  After several rounds of IUI and IVF, at some of the leading Fertility Centers, I was told I was no longer a candidate for fertility treatment.  It left me asking myself...

So now what?

For the years that followed, I tried to put myself back together and tell myself I would be OK, but I wasn't.  I was shattered - I felt alone and failed by the whole process and especially, my body.  I yearned for others that felt the pain I felt and someone that could help me navigate a life without a child. 

I didn't find it, so I decide to create it.  

Fast forward to today. I am still childless, but my beliefs about my life have changed.  I decided that I can create meaning and purpose in my life even though I am not a mother.  I've learned to love myself and the body I felt failed me as a woman.

If you've been on this journey, hop on and join me as we create something we were not offered.  Let's create a sisterhood for the bravest women I know.  We brush ourselves off and don't let terms like: Failed, Unexplained, Miscarriage, Not-viable or Advanced Maternal Age define us anymore.  


Apr 6, 2022

Welcome back to Episode 30!!  30 weeks, we have been meeting here on Tuesdays to get a little slice of newness to apply and new things to implement in our lives. I guess they say time flys by when you're having fun, because it has been so fun and such a huge pleasure through these last 30 weeks to connect with so many of you who have reached out and provided thoughts and feedback and questions when you hear a new episode. And please keep that coming. Because I feel like even in this era of not meeting people in person, just the ability to connect with you. Whether it's over social media or zoom or a discovery call. It is such a sincere pleasure to get feedback from each of you. So we are going to dovetail on last week's episode, where we talked about living in our past. There was a lot of goodness and things to digest in that episode. So if you have yet to listen to Episode 29, I encourage you to pop out of this one and go back and listen to 29. And just start to catch yourself up on what it is like to be living as a past focused person, decide whether it's serving you, whether you fall into that category, whether you want to experience your thoughts and your life and your beliefs differently. Hopefully, you caught my post on April 1 on instagram about the beta group that I'm going to be putting together to get a little more in depth and really dig deeper into the reinvention of your beliefs. So if you have yet to see that post, or hear about it, and go back into Instagram, but I am going to keep you posted once my application process is open to join my beta group. And I'll make that available. Of course on Instagram and at You could probably tell that I am a huge proponent of managing your beliefs and understanding your beliefs. And really getting your arms around why it is you believe a certain way because the way that you're believing is creating whatever feeling is coming up for you in your life. And for some people living with a certain feeling is not an issue. Some people do not get rattled by not feeling excitement and joy and anticipation for their future. And I am not here to tell you that there is something wrong with you. I just know that when I was going through my journey, and when I found out I couldn't be a mom, I sat in a lot of feelings that I I feel were important for me to feel. And I would not take back the opportunity to feel the loneliness and feel the dissension from my peers and my friends that have kids and feel the questioning about my future. I think it is so important that we do feel all of those feelings before we move forward and try to modify the way we're feeling about things. So that said, I am just somebody who knew that I wanted to feel differently and to be more excited about the future years that I had ahead and not to continue to define myself and define the person that I am by failed fertility cycles or by a body that couldn't do what it was genetically designed to do. So it is not a problem. If you listen and feel like you're cool with feeling the way that you feel. I am not here to change anyone's way of being or way of thinking. But if you are feeling these things and just really want to get on the other side of it or maybe have a better understanding of why it is you're continuously feeling or believing a certain way about yourself, then I am your gal. We are really going to be diving deep in understanding how everything starts with your brain. The fact that you have a consciousness that the thoughts and the beliefs you're having have a connection to your feelings. So every single thing that has ever been created by humans has started with a thought in someone's brain, no exceptions to that. And if you don't allow yourself to think you just really can't create anything. So if you are not training yourself to think or believe things on purpose, you will not create anything purposeful. And the first step to becoming aware of what you're thinking and to manage it is really having a next step in understanding how to create a thought or a belief on purpose. And we often don't think of the creation as something that happens in our brain. It's where all true creation starts. So we create thoughts, and we have beliefs, and then we are able to create things. But our belief of something has to be created first. And basically a belief or a thought is just a sentence. And you can create that sentence. And then when you create the result of that sentence, dreams are literally waiting for you. And those are going to be what becomes the result of your thoughts, because your thoughts and your beliefs are really the token to living a life that you love. Living a life that you truly feel like you are a part of, and not a third party who's on the outside just watching life happen to us. If you are interested in getting to a point in your life, where you can create and believe and be the manager of YOUR mind, then you will want to stay on this journey with me as we go through and we understand how to reinvent the beliefs that we have. So in summary, you can make your dreams come true. And it's gonna start with creating a sentence in your brain. And once you believe the sentence, so much, you will start to feel it. And when I say feel it, you're going to really act on those feelings. And the action is going to be propelled by the feelings you feel the thoughts you have. But really, the actions are going to create results for you to have the life that you intentionally want to have for yourself, it is true that what you're currently believing now is based on your past. For many of us, it's easy to go back into the file cabinet of our past, and go through all those sentences that we have recycled. And those experiences that we've allowed ourselves to define our worthiness by and all these sentences, and all these beliefs were taught to us either directly or indirectly. And some of them are so ingrained, that we don't even notice them as options to believe in options to really think anymore. And you just are believing that they are the truth. So these are the thoughts and the beliefs that really go unquestioned. So our first step is going to be building awareness. So when you become aware of what you believe, you are really going to almost think of yourself as this cloud floating above your life. And when things happen if you can just observe them, and be aware of them without trying to change them without trying to tell yourself that you shouldn't be thinking that way or that it's not helpful to be thinking that way. Or when you think that way, you're going to start feeling some way that you don't want to feel in the beginning, I'm just going to ask you to just think of yourself as this cloud that's floating over you. And imagine what it's like sitting up on that cloud and just watching you go about your life, that is going to be such an opportunity to really have yourself feel all that you want to feel and do all that you want to do without having judgment for yourself. So this week, I really want you to notice if you're getting stuck in a certain situation, or maybe you saw online that somebody is having a baby there, they got pregnant and they're having their pregnancy and announcement or a gender reveal. Like imagine what that is going to feel like for you. What are you going to be thinking about yourself? Maybe you're going to be thinking, that’s one more person who successfully got pregnant and I couldn't do it. Or here we go another friend who's having a baby and that's going to be less People in my circle of friends that I can relate to anymore. Take an experience that goes on for you this week, one that maybe makes you feel a little uneasy and just observe it, think of yourself just floating up that cloud and watching you, and then from there, start to do some paper thinking on it. So take out your journal, or however you record your thoughts, I personally find that writing them down works better for me than typing them into my phone. There's just something about having pen to paper that brings a little bit more intense thought out of me. But take those opportunities to just really write what thoughts are coming up for you.

How are you feeling when those things happen, or that thing happens, if you can isolate it to one thing that's going to be your best opportunity to just get some thoughts out on paper and try not to change anything, just become aware, get those thoughts on paper, tell yourself, it's okay. I know when I'm sitting here thinking about writing this down in my paper thinking, I don't like I know, this is probably not a helpful thought to me. But it's okay. Just being aware is going to allow you to really start to reinvent your beliefs. So when you build the awareness, you'll be able to look out into the world. And to see that you can experience things and really start to take them in for yourself. So this is where most of  your power is really going to come forward for you. And I really want you to take some time this week to become aware of what you believe because you must become aware of what you are thinking in order to have different feelings, different take, different actions and have different results in your lives. That's what we got for this week as we start to get more in depth on reinventing your beliefs. If you're interested in being part of my pilot, you can message me and I'll definitely as soon as my application process is open, I will give you a link to the application. But if this sounds like something you're interested in, please let me know because I am only going to take a select group of people to work in this pilot, and I would love it if you are one of them. So have an awesome week and remember it is never too late to discover your meeting. I'll talk to you next week.