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The "So Now What?" Podcast

I am a Fertility Survivor.  The kind you enter into treatments hoping you will never be... childless.  After several rounds of IUI and IVF, at some of the leading Fertility Centers, I was told I was no longer a candidate for fertility treatment.  It left me asking myself...

So now what?

For the years that followed, I tried to put myself back together and tell myself I would be OK, but I wasn't.  I was shattered - I felt alone and failed by the whole process and especially, my body.  I yearned for others that felt the pain I felt and someone that could help me navigate a life without a child. 

I didn't find it, so I decide to create it.  

Fast forward to today. I am still childless, but my beliefs about my life have changed.  I decided that I can create meaning and purpose in my life even though I am not a mother.  I've learned to love myself and the body I felt failed me as a woman.

If you've been on this journey, hop on and join me as we create something we were not offered.  Let's create a sisterhood for the bravest women I know.  We brush ourselves off and don't let terms like: Failed, Unexplained, Miscarriage, Not-viable or Advanced Maternal Age define us anymore.  


Aug 16, 2022

Thank you for coming to listen to another episode, as you know, I am getting close to my 52nd Episode hard to believe it's gonna be almost a year that I started this podcast.

I started it out super simple just by deciding to tell my story for the first time, and it has flourished into something more amazing than I could have ever imagined. Since that first episode I have been showing up here every week and continuously offering you opportunities to realize that you are not alone in this journey of yours.

And even though you aspired and dreamed your whole life to become a mom, if that didn't happen to you, I show up here every week to let you know that the things you are thinking about your journey and the ways you're feeling about yourself for not being able to become a mom are not obscure, not crazy and to let you know that you are not alone.

Many of us have felt the way that you feel today. I show up every week letting you know that you can come to the other side of things, even if you're feeling sadness and believe that your life could never feel full and abundant, unless you could become a mom.

One of my goals is to reach 10,000 unique downloads by my 52nd episode (in early September).  The algorithm gods will filter this podcast out to other women searching for resources within fertility, if I have rating and reviews actively being put up about the podcast.

I started this podcast to help women with infertility know that they're not alone on this journey and that. No matter how many rounds of IVF you have or haven't done, your infertility and your inability to become a mom does not have to define who you are, the rest of your life.

So if you would put a rating and review up, I would so appreciate that.

This week's topic, we are going to talk about having purpose. It's something that I have worked with so many of my students because we have this idea as women, that our purpose is to become mothers and to give birth and to contribute to society through having a baby.

We do not have to accept that as our definition of purpose and can decide today that you no longer want to believe that your purpose in this world is to become a mom. It's not something that I've ever seen written anywhere that when we were born on our birth certificates, we were told that our purpose is to have children and to become moms.

This week, we were going to talk about what it's like to decide your purpose.  We make it so much harder than it has to be. We've come to contrive this idea that your reason for being here on this planet, it comes down to one sentence and one definer, one adjective, whatever it is, decide now that it's not true.

There are so many women, I know that are mothers that have a purpose in my life that isn't being my mom. And there's so many people that I've encountered in my life that serve a purpose or fill a need that I've had in my life that aren't my biological mother. If we're sitting here believing that the only reason that we don't have a purpose on this planet is because we're not a mom, we are wrong. You do not have to have the title of mom or have to have given birth to a child or be raising a child to have purpose in this world. I want to offer a couple thoughts for you to ponder and work on this week.

What purpose do you serve in your own life?

And I think that is something that we just breeze past. And we don't ever question the purpose that we have when we wake up every day. What purpose do we want to serve in our own lives? I think we oftentimes think of a purpose as. Something to somebody else or serving somebody else. And we're constantly looking for approvals or acknowledgement from other people in order to feel as though we have purpose in this world.

If we continue to wait for other people to need us or fill a void that somebody else has in their life, we're constantly going to be yearning for a reason why we are in the existence of other people. When it's so much easier if we decide how we want to serve and show up every day in the existence of ourselves.

Before you go to bed, or when you wake up in the morning, decide three things (either you accomplished that day or decide in the morning, 3 things that you want to accomplish).

You can call them goals.

You can call them purposes for your day but start to decide it doesn't have to be one overarching umbrella that defines your whole life. You can serve purpose in your life every single day by taking care of tasks, like working out., doing paper thinking, self care.  There are so many opportunities to do things for yourself and serve a purpose in your own life before you even need to worry about or ever have concern.

If you  allow yourself to consider that as an opportunity for a week, maybe two, you'll start to see how many times you show up for yourself in your life that you have not taken an opportunity to recognize, and you'll start to it really good at deciding that you have opportunity each day to create magic for yourself.

And this goes back, I think a lot to feeling bad for or thinking that you're selfish, if you do things for yourself. So if you go back to my episode, gosh, I wanna say it was maybe 42 or 43 about being selfish. Listen to that episode and realize that doing for yourself is not a bad thing. It is actually the most nurturing and opportunity for growth that you can create.

In your life is to show up for yourself. So decide what purpose you serve for yourself. And then also I wanna talk about having purpose and that overarching umbrella that we believe one person walks around their whole life with a name badge that says, hello, my name is Lana, and my purpose is to be a.

it's so not true. Think about the people that you've encountered. Think about teachers in your life. Think about people in your religious community. Think about a sibling, a cousin, a friend, a classmate, a. We have so many opportunities to serve purpose in other people's lives in so many different ways. Cuz I can guarantee you Mrs.

Drek my second grade teacher who I remember so vividly and so kindly she served a purpose of teaching me. Arithmetic. I remember that's where we'd go and do our addition and subtraction tables. And we would get to put a sticker on the wall if we did our addition, subtraction correctly. So she served a purpose of teaching me how to do basic math.

Now I'm sure that if you ask somebody else in their life who knew her outside of her classroom, Mrs. DN served a different purpose in their life. So when we. When we can decide or when we can start to open our mind to the possibility. that we don't have to just have given birth to a child or be raising a child in order to have purpose in this world.

We can free ourselves from this clamp that we have down on ourselves, that we have no purpose. And I guarantee you that you waking up every day and first serving yourself and doing things for yourself that bring you. closer to being the full version of you. And then. You just showing up in your day, I guarantee you.

Or if I were follow you around with a notebook and start asking the people that you interact with every day, the purpose that you serve in their life, I promise you we would come home with 15 different reasons or 15 different things that you provide others just by showing up every day and being you so decide today.

Purpose. Doesn't have to always be about being a mom and you are loved and you are so treasured by so many people by just waking up every day, opening up those beautiful eyeballs of yours and putting your feet on the ground and showing up as the truest aversion of you is the greatest purpose you can serve in this world.

So, if you're listening to this and you're thinking, I have no clue how to do this, I wanna let you know that I am going to be launching my first small group coaching collective, and it is going to be magnificent. I wanna tell you a little bit about the value you are going to get out of working in a small group fashion with me for three months, the price is $798.

I promise you it'll never be that cheap again, but I wanted to open it up at a price that people who haven't had the opportunity to work with me can afford and realize that after three months you are gonna have. The most amazing tools to create a life that feels so full and so abundant because we are gonna get crystal clear on how to believe something different about yourself and your future.

If you can't become a mom and the tools that I offer you, the best value that I think I could say about this three months we're gonna have together is the learning doesn't end at three months. Cuz when I. Am finished. And we come to a conclusion at December. You have the tools that I am gonna be teaching you over the, the three months period that we're together, these tools are gonna last you a lifetime.

So you might be spending $798 now, but that $798 times the rest of your life. Is going to offer you some of the greatest opportunity to live the biggest and fullest and most exciting version of yourself. So I hope that you'll consider joining us. My wait list is getting fuller. And I want you to be part of this because my goal, every day, when I put my feet on the floor, my purpose is to be the best example to you, of what life could look like.

If you can't become a mom and you will learn those same tools that I have gathered throughout my journey after. So hopeful and dreaming my whole life that I could only become a mom. And when that didn't happen to me, I didn't know where to go from that. So I am going to help you learn to love your life and love yourself and be excited about your future again, even though you won't be a mom.

If you're interested, Send me a message. You know how to reach me stitch coaching on Instagram, stitch on the internet. And I cannot wait to work with you, have an awesome week. And remember it is never too late to discover your meaning. I'll talk to you next week.