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The "So Now What?" Podcast

I am a Fertility Survivor.  The kind you enter into treatments hoping you will never be... childless.  After several rounds of IUI and IVF, at some of the leading Fertility Centers, I was told I was no longer a candidate for fertility treatment.  It left me asking myself...

So now what?

For the years that followed, I tried to put myself back together and tell myself I would be OK, but I wasn't.  I was shattered - I felt alone and failed by the whole process and especially, my body.  I yearned for others that felt the pain I felt and someone that could help me navigate a life without a child. 

I didn't find it, so I decide to create it.  

Fast forward to today. I am still childless, but my beliefs about my life have changed.  I decided that I can create meaning and purpose in my life even though I am not a mother.  I've learned to love myself and the body I felt failed me as a woman.

If you've been on this journey, hop on and join me as we create something we were not offered.  Let's create a sisterhood for the bravest women I know.  We brush ourselves off and don't let terms like: Failed, Unexplained, Miscarriage, Not-viable or Advanced Maternal Age define us anymore.  


Aug 9, 2022

I am feeling so full, so grateful and so energized by the amazing students that I've been working with and all of the people that have been so receptive to my new coaching collective that I presented to you on Episode 47 last week. 

First, I just want to say thank you for your interest in becoming the best version of you. For so long. I lived my life believing that if I couldn't become a mom, I would always be at 80% max and that my life would be good, but it would never be great.  I've learned that that is just wrong. 


My ability to create a life that I love, even if I'm not a mom, is so real and so available. I show up here every week with a message for you to hear and start to believe that that is possible for you too.  You don't have to live your life at. 80% max, you don't always have to look around and think or believe that you are missing just a small piece of the puzzle, and if you just had that one piece, things would be great for you. It's not true.

I only know, because I spent many years believing that, and I know you do too.  There was no one out there talking about what life could look like feel like, and be like, if you weren't a mom. The stories that we heard were always the sob stories and the sad stories and the stories of broken women and women that never felt complete. I'm here to tell you that completion is available to you and you have everything you need right now within you, but maybe you just don't know how to find it within you.  That is why I show up here every week and do my best to bring to you the topics that come up often within my coaching practice and with my students.

Last week we talked about a topic a lot of people feel sadness around and a lot of people feel judgment for themselves. If they're feeling like they're outgrowing friendships, or if the friendships that they've had for their lifetime just don't fit in the same peg that they once did. You heard me talk about that in Episode 47 if you haven't listened to it, I advise you to go back, take a quick listen and know that it is okay. If friendships change in form, and the role that you play in someone's life or that someone has played in your life historically changes. And that is the beauty of us evolving as humans is that life is fluid.


And how boring would it be if we only had the same four friends for the rest of our life. So listen to episode 47 and then come back to episode 48, where we are gonna talk about  the things that I created as sort of a laundry list that has come up as I've been coaching my students on this very topic.


Yes. We know that we have friendships we might have outgrown. We might not feel the same that we once did when we are in the company of certain people. But how do we meet new people without being creepy and without feeling like we're on a dating app to meet other women that we solely wanna have friendships with, how do we find ways to engage ourselves in activities that will allow us to find people that align with the interest that we have at this point in our life.


 I went through and I created a list of ways to  expand your friendship circle


There are a lot of people that are not used to being initiators in their friendships and decide now that if you are one of those people who historically was not comfortable with walking into a crowd and introducing yourself or being the one to propose plans, decide now that you are just curious enough to try it a few times.


You can go back to not being an initiator and not being one to make plans after you just promise me that you'll give it a shot just a few times. When we decide that we can try to come out of our comfort zone and try new things, we just might be able to uncover some new qualities that we've acquired as we've grown through this process of being new people and creating a new life that we truly love, even though we couldn't become moms.

 I've always been a connector. If you've ever taken Strengthsfinder, one of my top five attributes was Connector. 

I recently took the Disc survey. I scored all the way to the far corner of "i", which is Influencer.  When I read the description, it was, so me I'm somebody who loves to create connection somebody who thrives around people and loves being part of a crowd and. Being somebody who introduces people that have things in common has given me an opportunity to explore new groups, new interests, new friendships at a time when I've needed it most as I've navigated my life through. IVF and realizing that I am going to live the rest of my life as a woman, without children. 

Here's a list that my students and I decided were some good ways to meet new friends. 

Workout class

Every time I drive through Chicago, there are some new studio, aerial yoga, hot yoga, orange theory, bar method, countless studios that I keep seeing every time I'm driving through the city, a lot of them have a free week trial or you can join it for a month free at a discounted rate.

Try a new workout class and talk to people while you're waiting for class to start. If you go to a class and you start to see familiar faces. And as you're seeing familiar faces, say, Hey, I'm organizing a brunch on Saturday after class. Does anyone want to go?

Or maybe go to the studio manager say, Hey, I had an idea. I wanted to get together a group of women who all enjoy doing this workout and plan a brunch. And I bet you, the studio manager would love that because you're creating connection for people to want to come back to their studio because they found friendships.


Have you guys ever. Joined anything on meetup. To me, it's a shopping cart of people with different interests. So I actually created my own meetup group for Childfree and Childless women. it was amazing how many women joined my group in Chicago. That is how we actually brought together our group of people for The Other's Day, brunch this past May. Did you know there's even online zoom meetups, you might be able to find people that share common interests. 

Dog moms

I'm part of Facebook dog mom groups. Are any of you and women without human children? I absolutely love that group on Facebook. If you are, give me a shout out and let me know that you're on there too, cuz I love to find you on there.

Dog parks

Maybe there's somebody that you see on walks often. Maybe if you have a dog that plays well with another dog, you can create a play date for your dog. I wish my little cocoa was a little bit more social. Kind of a jerk to other dogs, but back in her younger years, she was so sweet at dog parks.  I used to meet some of the nicest people when I would take her to our local dog park, utilize your potential to become friends with other dog moms.


Some of my students are former athletes and they have had really great success meeting new friends through a tennis group. For example, one of my students played tennis in college and she has had such a fun time getting into a doubles group with other women that play tennis and has found some nice friends that way.

Golf is another thing. I've had a couple of my students that have joined golf leagues and have met some awesome friends that way.

Pickle ball. I have never played pickle ball. Some of my students have said it is such a fun activity and a fun sport, and you can even play in a couple's league. So maybe you want to get your significant other and you guys play pickle ball together.


If you want to be somebody who gives back in the community, you might just be finding some new friends while you're volunteering.

Book club

Are you an avid reader?  I was thinking I should create a book club. I have recently gotten back into reading again and I have had. A growing list of books that I want to read. So, you know what, let's throw that out there. I'm going to throw out us creating our own book club here or so now what book club. So, if you're interested in that, drop me a line, let me know your favorite book. Maybe we'll organize that.

Alumni events 

One of my students is really active in her college alumni association and she said she has met some awesome people going to. They're organized alumni events and has even host of some of their local area, alumni events.

Friends of Friends

How many times have you had a friend say, oh my gosh, I met somebody that you would totally hit it off. Or you would totally love, and then you just never follow up. I actually have two people just last week friends that I know that reached out to me and are like, oh my gosh, I have the most awesome person that I know in Chicago that you would totally hit it off with. I asked for their  number and I texted 'em and I reached out it doesn't have to be creepy.

So Now What Sisterhood

you heard me talk last week about my three-month coaching collective.  This is going to give you the most amazing opportunity to close out 2022 as your best year. It can be the most transformative year yet because in three months we are going to pack together. Some of the most amazing women who are going to be doing growth and creating and carving the path to the most amazing life that they can dream of. And I chose this timing because there's a lot of triggers happening.

Towards this end of the year, you have all the

  • back to school photos that you're seeing of friends and family there's
  • Halloween, where you're seeing people trick or treating the cute little kids coming to your door for trick or treating
  • The holidays. 

In three months with us together, we are going to do some of the most amazing work creating the life that you truly love, even though you couldn't become a mom.  Just some ideas for you. And if you're thinking of other things, I would love to add them to my list. I'd like to have that as part of my resources. So drop me a line. Let me know if you have any other ways that you have found.

To create connection with others. And of course, if you're interested in joining my three-month coaching collective, please let me know. I have had an overwhelming response of people reaching out, wanting to get more information, I would love to hold a spot for you, cuz it is important for me to keep it a small group so that we can start to build some bonds together.

And it can be a safe environment that doesn't seem too overwhelming and too daunting. I hope to see you there.

Have an awesome week. And remember it is never too late to discover your meaning. I'll talk to you next week.