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IVF Failed You - The "So Now What?" Podcast


I am a Fertility Survivor.  The kind you enter into treatments hoping you will never be... childless.  After several rounds of IUI and IVF, at some of the leading Fertility Centers, I was told I was no longer a candidate for fertility treatment.  It left me asking myself...

So now what?

For the years that followed, I tried to put myself back together and tell myself I would be OK, but I wasn't.  I was shattered - I felt alone and failed by the whole process and especially, my body.  I yearned for others that felt the pain I felt and someone that could help me navigate a life without a child. 

I didn't find it, so I decide to create it.  

Fast forward to today. I am still childless, but my beliefs about my life have changed.  I decided that I can create meaning and purpose in my life even though I am not a mother.  I've learned to love myself and the body I felt failed me as a woman.

If you've been on this journey, hop on and join me as we create something we were not offered.  Let's create a sisterhood for the bravest women I know.  We brush ourselves off and don't let terms like: Failed, Unexplained, Miscarriage, Not-viable or Advanced Maternal Age define us anymore.  

 

Oct 24, 2023

Episode 104

Introduction:  I'm thrilled to have you with me for another episode of "The So Now What Podcast." Today, I want to talk about something that's been on my mind – those all-too-familiar feelings of helplessness. We're living in a world filled with challenges, and it's easy to find ourselves wishing we could do more to change things. First and foremost, I want to acknowledge your beautiful heart for caring so deeply.

Acknowledging Helplessness: Let's face it; we've all been there. Whether it's the ongoing global crises or the personal journey of infertility leading to childlessness, feelings of helplessness can be overwhelming. It's okay to admit when things get heavy. In fact, I took a break from the podcast last week because I needed it too. So, if you're carrying a heavy load right now, remember, it's perfectly fine to step back and recharge.

Empathy and Self-Compassion: I read a study that claims 70% of people have experienced feelings of helplessness at some point in their lives, and I'd bet that's an underreport. It's a common human experience. When we can't find a solution to our challenges, despair often sets in. We may feel disconnected, and it's not unusual for us to fall short of showing up the way we'd like to in our lives. But please, understand this: it's okay, and you're not alone.

Mindfulness and Meditation: Have you tried mindfulness and meditation? They can make a world of difference when dealing with helplessness. Mindfulness is all about being aware of your thoughts, while meditation helps quiet your mind. When I was going through fertility treatments, I found solace in meditation, and it still serves me today. It's about creating space and distance between yourself and the constant stimuli, which can help you regain clarity.

Making Conscious Choices: Sometimes, it's not just about our internal thoughts but also about the external factors in our lives. Take a closer look at where you get your information and the people you surround yourself with. If the news brings anxiety, consider limiting your exposure or finding a different source. Sometimes, it's the people in our lives that influence how we feel. It's okay to put some distance there. No need for dramatic exits; just take a step back and observe how you feel.

Community and Support: One of the most important aspects of overcoming helplessness is finding the right community and support system. If you're dealing with infertility and childlessness, reach out. I know so many amazing women, myself included, who are eager to connect with you. We have created a circle of women who have decided to thrive, and we'd love for you to join us.

Concluding Remarks: Above all, remember that you don't have to be the hero with all the answers. Sometimes, problems cannot be solved, and that's okay too. You're a wonderful person, full of love and kindness, regardless of the challenges you face. If your journey hasn't led to motherhood, know that you did your best and that's worth celebrating.

Closing: I want to wrap up by saying that you are loved, and there's a beautiful journey awaiting you, even if it's different from what you once envisioned. Embrace your uniqueness, and remember, it's never too late to discover your meaning. I'm sending you lots of love, and I'll catch up with you in the next episode.