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The "So Now What?" Podcast

I am a Fertility Survivor.  The kind you enter into treatments hoping you will never be... childless.  After several rounds of IUI and IVF, at some of the leading Fertility Centers, I was told I was no longer a candidate for fertility treatment.  It left me asking myself...

So now what?

For the years that followed, I tried to put myself back together and tell myself I would be OK, but I wasn't.  I was shattered - I felt alone and failed by the whole process and especially, my body.  I yearned for others that felt the pain I felt and someone that could help me navigate a life without a child. 

I didn't find it, so I decide to create it.  

Fast forward to today. I am still childless, but my beliefs about my life have changed.  I decided that I can create meaning and purpose in my life even though I am not a mother.  I've learned to love myself and the body I felt failed me as a woman.

If you've been on this journey, hop on and join me as we create something we were not offered.  Let's create a sisterhood for the bravest women I know.  We brush ourselves off and don't let terms like: Failed, Unexplained, Miscarriage, Not-viable or Advanced Maternal Age define us anymore.  


Dec 21, 2022

I am so happy to be here and feeling so great about the magic that we can absolutely make in our lives when we go all in on ourselves and when we decide that these feelings of dread and these feelings of inadequacy and question, and all the things that I felt when I finished my infertility journey, and you might still be feeling today, knowing that all those things are optional.


Is just such an amazing realization, and this is at my forefront right now because I'm just wrapping up three months of some of the most enlightening and amazing work with my students in my Thrive After Infertility Mastermind. We have made so much progress and so many inroads and so many realizations about what life can truly be like


even if you couldn't become a.  I invite you to consider in 2023 to make changes in your life to just believe, even if it's with the smallest ounce of you, believe that there is something more out there for you. I spent so many years believing that life would just be average and. I'd operate at 80%, maybe have some good days, but most days would be average.


And that was so foreign from where I used to be.  When I realized that I had the ability to create a new story about myself and my future, and that I could believe new things about what my life was worth and the purpose, meaning and the legacy that I could create with my life, even without children,  life got exponentially better.


So I hope that going into this new year,  you choose to create new beliefs about yourself and your. , you will create so much greatness in your life.  Tomorrow is our last class,  some have already decided to continue working with me, and to me that is the biggest honor.


But it shows me that they believe in themselves and that they believe that there's more for them to achieve.  If that is something that you're looking to accomplish, I invite you to apply. For the next round of Thrive after infertility, the mastermind's gonna get started, in February. The application process is gonna go live in January, and maybe you're somebody who wants to do one-on-one.


I also love working one-on-one with students, so that might be a better decision for you, but whatever it is you choose to do, I hope that. , you realize how much you are worth and how much of your life there is to create greatness with, and that your best days are not behind you just because you went through fertility treatments and weren't able to become a mom.


So these last couple episodes have been more geared on kind of helping you get in there and understanding what it is that you desire, what you believe about yourself, allowing you. See how much there is that you can discover about yourself and your story, so on this week's episode, I'm going to add on from last week's episode of What Do You Desire? And we are gonna talk about what you are looking to feel?


 I might get emotional in this episode because it was like a really intense moment for me. Last week, I had taken Coco to the vet. She had to get her annual shots, and she does not do well at the vet. She's. Very like fidgety, upset, bity, all this kind of stuff.  We got home and 


I had to decorate the house for Christmas. I was buzzing around doing a million things, and I could just tell by the look in her eyes that she was not feeling well.  So I sat down on the floor and I just sat there and the minute my butt hit the ground, she literally crawled into my lap and just curled up so tight, and I felt this amazing sense of connection that I don't know if it was that I had never felt it before, or that I just never allowed myself to feel it because it wasn't with a human child.


I literally felt like my presence and my being was such a calming  nature for this dog. And I noticed myself trying to be like, what is wrong with you? That's not the same.  If you had a child, it would be more real, but you don't really feel connected to a dog. And then I stopped myself and I was feeling so connected.  That feeling of offering calmness to a living being by just being present and being calm and still with my dog, felt so meaningful to me and I realized that there are so many things that we tell ourselves are not available to us because we have not had a human child. So we tell ourselves that those emotions and those experiences and those heartfelt connections are not really real because they're not with a human child.


 I just decided that I wasn't gonna believe that anymore. I was gonna believe that I felt a significant connection. And yes, it was with my dog. And if you're not a dog person or a pet parent, you might not understand that, and that's okay. But for those of us that are, you might know how that feels. You might know that feeling of connection. It does not always have to be to a baby that you gave birth to or to a child or to another human.  It really got me thinking about how many things I have not allowed myself to open up to because I'm dismissing them because I'm not a mom.  I want you to really think about how many times you can actually open yourself up to feeling something and not talk yourself out of it, and not tell yourself that it's not real or that it's not as good or not as intense as it would be if you were a mom and just feel the damn feeling because I had never felt that intense.


Type of connection like I did that night with Coco and I just, it felt really good and it got me really thinking about how much more of that I can have in my life. And yeah, maybe it might be with my dog, maybe it might be with another human. Maybe it.  be by myself, experiencing nature.  There are so many opportunities that I truly believe we tell ourselves we are not available for or open to because we aren't moms.


 I'm gonna leave you with that. It's a short episode this week, but I want you to know that I love you and there is so much available to you if you just allow yourself to lean into it and just allow yourself to not talk yourself out of what you feel.  You don't need to tell yourself that it's not rational.


You don't need to tell yourself that it's not real. It's not how it would feel if you had a kid and just feel the damn feeling. That's all I gotta say. 

 I love you so much. Merry Christmas. I hope you have a beautiful holiday. And remember that you are so worthy of every perfect gift this holiday season, and I want you to be proud of yourself, and I want you to have hope and have faith that you have everything you need to create the life of your dreams and try not to talk yourself out of believing that life can be good again. I can tell you there is so much beauty waiting for you and I can't wait to continue our conversations and to go into the new year experiencing all the greatness that is waiting for you.  I am doing a call on the 30th.


 We're gonna be talking about how to wrap up the year and feel really good about all that you accomplished this year.


So that's gonna be on the 30th at 3:00 PM on Facebook Live. And um, I'll make sure I make the replay available. So if you're on my mailing list, I will get the replay sent out to you. So have an awesome week and remember it is never too late to discover your meeting. I'll talk to you next week.