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The "So Now What?" Podcast


I am a Fertility Survivor.  The kind you enter into treatments hoping you will never be... childless.  After several rounds of IUI and IVF, at some of the leading Fertility Centers, I was told I was no longer a candidate for fertility treatment.  It left me asking myself...

So now what?

For the years that followed, I tried to put myself back together and tell myself I would be OK, but I wasn't.  I was shattered - I felt alone and failed by the whole process and especially, my body.  I yearned for others that felt the pain I felt and someone that could help me navigate a life without a child. 

I didn't find it, so I decide to create it.  

Fast forward to today. I am still childless, but my beliefs about my life have changed.  I decided that I can create meaning and purpose in my life even though I am not a mother.  I've learned to love myself and the body I felt failed me as a woman.

If you've been on this journey, hop on and join me as we create something we were not offered.  Let's create a sisterhood for the bravest women I know.  We brush ourselves off and don't let terms like: Failed, Unexplained, Miscarriage, Not-viable or Advanced Maternal Age define us anymore.  

 

Jun 18, 2024

Episode Summary

This week marks my 15th wedding anniversary, a significant milestone that feels both like yesterday and a lifetime ago. Reflecting on our journey, I've decided to discuss marriage and relationships when you find yourself unexpectedly childless. In this episode, I'll uncover the top 10 misconceptions about childless marriages, shedding light on the unique challenges and bias we experience when we eave fertility treatments without a child.

 


 

Key Points Discussed

  1. Lack of Fulfillment

    • Debunking the myth that true happiness and purpose in a relationship only come from raising children.

  2. Selfishness

    • Addressing the misconception that childless couples prioritize personal desires over responsibilities.

  3. Incompleteness

    • Challenging the belief that a marriage is incomplete without children.

  4. Loneliness in Old Age

    • Confronting fears about being lonely and unsupported in old age without children.

  5. Lack of Family Bonding

    • Explaining how childless couples create their own meaningful traditions and bonds.

  6. Temporary Decision

    • Discussing the notion that being childless is just a temporary phase.

  7. Regret

    • Exploring the assumption that childless couples will inevitably regret their decision.

  8. Marital Problems

    • Debunking the myth that childlessness indicates or causes marital issues.

  9. Social Isolation

    • Addressing the belief that childless couples are socially isolated.

  10. Biological or Medical Issues

    • Clarifying misconceptions about the reasons behind childlessness after infertility.

 


 

Thrive After Infertility Mastermind

In my Thrive After Infertility Mastermind, we focus on relationships, of of 3 crucial pillars in the program which is  often overlooked for those navigating life without children. Whether it's with your spouse, friends, family, or coworkers, Thrive offers support and tools to help you create a life you love without the children you thought you were going to have. I'm excited to announce the next launch of the Thrive After Infertility Mastermind in October, which includes advanced tools and support from my certification in grief coaching.

 

Conclusion

As Jack and I celebrate our 15th anniversary, we've learned that a fulfilling, meaningful marriage is possible even without the children we once envisioned. If you're feeling stuck or wondering about the future of your marriage, remember that there is no right or wrong path. Whether you stay together or part ways, it's essential to find what works best for you and your partner.