Sep 27, 2022
How are you? How is this life of yours? How are you feeling? How are you doing and what are you doing to make changes in your life and in your future? That is my big question to you because I think so many of us get caught in believing that life is just always going to feel this way.
If you hear me speak often, you might hear me give the equation of
my life, at one time, I always believed would max out at 80%.
For somebody that was not an 80% type of gal, that felt
really deflating to me. I decided that I did not want to live
a life anymore that was always going to be B minus.
I wanted a life that felt vibrant and exciting and fulfilling
again. I just didn't know how to get there until I discovered
life coaching and the ability that we have as humans to change the
beliefs about ourselves and our stories and start to poke holes and
what it is society has told us about living your future without
children that we have then adapted into our belief system about
ourselves and our future without children.
If all of this seems exciting, but you are not sure how you
could ever get there, you are in the perfect place because
this will be the last full week that you can apply for the thrive
after infertility mastermind. If you haven't heard me talk about
it, it is going to be the most transformative 12 weeks of your
life.
There is a small group of women purposefully left it as a small
group because I want us to feel comfortable amongst each other,
sharing our stories, sharing our struggles and helping each other
through 12 weeks of creating a roadmap to the future of your
dreams. Now I've had a lot of interest, but a lot of people
surprisingly shied away paying $999 for this 12 week intensive
small group container.
And it baffles me a little bit. And certainly no judgment if money
is tight and you don't have the money to do it, but I can tell you
that most people I know currently in their hand have some sort of
smartphone that has cost them more than a thousand dollars and to
pay $999 to gain tools that will last you a lifetime and help to
navigate the future that you never believed you could have because
you were diagnosed with infertility and were never able to have the
children
you always dreamed of to say no to that because you think it's too
expensive. And that your phone is more valuable than your future. I
will beg to differ. I know this because the tools that I
teach in thrive are the exact ones that got me to where I am today
to be your teacher and to be your leader in this community would
not have come without any sort of investment. I beg you to decide
that you are worth $999 for tools that will last you a lifetime.
Think about it, reconsider it. If you've said no to yourself before
even listening to what I have to offer you put yourself first and
ask yourself how much longer do you want to feel the way that you
are feeling and what resources you are gonna provide yourself to
help you get to the other side of where you are today
and to start to live a life that you can truly love and thrive. So
all of this to bring you to how I have used these tools in my life
and how I particularly used them this past week, when I returned
for my annual visit with my OB GYN. As many years as I've
gone through this. I still have feelings of anxiousness and
nervousness.
When I walk down that hallway and know that I am going to walk into
a door that has a curtain with a few hooks and has a table with
stir ups on it, and also miss Wanda in the corner, staring me in
the eyes. I just have this feeling of anxiousness. And I wanna tell
you about how my visit went this past.
so the OB GYN I go to is not the same one. I started my IVF journey
with she has since moved on to another institution, but the woman I
go to, I absolutely love. She's wonderful and by no means, am
I ragging on her or the institution I went to, but I wanna tell you
how I advocated for my myself this week.
So I walk into that room, you know, the drill, have a seat. How
much do you weigh? When was the date of your last period? Mine was
702 days ago. So more than two years ago. And here I am talking
through my medical history, being asked all these questions about
whether I'm still on birth control, whether I have any children,
how many children, I have all these questions that I'm sitting
here, scratching my head and asking.
Why do these people ask me these questions? So I point blank
stopped myself from answering the questions and I asked the sweet
medical assistant, why she was asking me this and why it wasn't in
the computer. And she looked at me very perplexed and said, it's
just not. And I explained to her that I had gone through seven
years of infertility treatments
a few of those years were here at this very medical institution.
And I was curious why my medical records were not showing up in her
epic chart and she felt uncomfortable. I I know. And I told her, I
said, listen, I am not aiming this at you. I know that you were
just looking at a computer screen and clicking where you need to
click, but people need to know
that we have a journey that we have been through and we need to
raise awareness for them that things need to change. We need to
find a way to maybe flag our charts or flag our profiles, or people
need to do a little bit deeper digging to know the journey that we
have been on. And I explained to her that I was not upset with her,
but that I would like the doctor to know that I would like to
discuss with her how we can build some more awareness.
Basic questions that are in the computer, how we can move
beyond having them be a routine set of questions for women who have
been diagnosed and gone through infertility treatments. So my
awesome OB came in was briefed on the fact that I brought this up
with the ma and was so awesome ladies.
She was like, listen, I know that you we're feeling very
uncomfortable by this. And I explained to her that I don't
necessarily feel uncomfortable by these questions anymore, but
there are a lot of women out there in our community that are
searching for ways to come to a doctor and not feel triggered and
not feel sadness and not be reliving the monitoring
appointments and the ultrasounds and all of the other hundreds of
visits that we made. And so she said to me, point blank, she's
like, I love what you're doing. She knows that I'm a certified life
coach. And she knows that I lead a community of women within
infertility. And she says, I agree with you. And this shouldn't be
this way.
It's in my charts. But for some reason on the computer, when the
medical assistant goes through your chart, it wasn't coming. And I
want you to know that it matters to us. She said, she's gonna speak
to her practice manager. And she asked me for any resources that I
could offer to help them do a better job for women like us.
And I have to tell you, I felt so proud of myself for speaking up,
because I could have gone through the questions. The work that I've
done on myself, the questions, although they rattle me a little
bit, it's more so, because I know you all are sitting there and
wanting to not feel as rattled and violated as you do
when you get those questions presented with you. I was wanting to
be an advocate for all of you. And I felt really proud of myself
for saying something because it matters. And. I also talk to her
about how there needs to be some awareness built for women to come
in and have resources offered to them. So I talk to her about ways
that we can provide more resources to her patients.
If there are patients that are coming in and you see that they have
a history of infertility, not only are we. Asking them the
questions about how many kids they have and what type of birth
control that they're on. But we are asking them what resources they
have in place. Have they been offered an opportunity to speak to
somebody?
Are they aware of a podcast, for example, mine, that might be able
to offer them the ability to know that they're not alone in this
struggle and what resources have been made available to them or
what resources they need that the doctors and the medical staff
could then follow up with them to provide.
I am very proud of myself for speaking on behalf of our
community and. If you feel like you're in a similar situation and
you go to an appointment and you find yourself in this same feeling
of uncertainty, of why you're being asked these questions that you
feel like people should know. I encourage you.
If you feel like you're at a point you can do so. Have the
conversation that I had, you don't have to do it in a way that
makes someone feel awful. That makes someone feel like they're not
a good provider or a good practitioner, but just stop them and
gently ask them if they are aware or if it's anywhere in your
chart
that you have gone through IVF, or you have gone through
infertility treatments or you are diagnosed with infertility, and
you're wondering if there's a way to opt out of these type of
questions or put some sort of flag on your chart, because I feel
like it truly made a difference. I feel like me sharing my journey
and sharing my story and sharing the ability that we.
Have to make change in our own lives, sharing that with my
providers meant something to them. And they were so appreciative
because I truly believe that they do want to be our place of
compassion and they know that it could be rifling for us to go
through another hallway and sit in another exam room and hear that
curtain spin closed and being told you can take everything off and
hanging your clothes on that rack or on that hook, it just brings
back so many memories for us, no matter how far out we are from our
journey. And if we can make the small amount of change by just
letting people know what bothers us and what they can offer for our
sisters in infertility. I just ask you to do that. Thank you
for listening this week.
Thank you for being a voice for yourself and a voice for those of
us that might not have the courage to tell our story yet, or to
stand up for ourselves yet. And if you're interested in joining the
mastermind, think about. And understand that the price of your cell
phone should not be more important than the price of your future
and living a future and a life that you truly can love.
So I hope that you consider joining me. Have a beautiful week and
remember it is never too late to discover your meaning. I can't
wait to talk to you next week.