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The "So Now What?" Podcast


I am a Fertility Survivor.  The kind you enter into treatments hoping you will never be... childless.  After several rounds of IUI and IVF, at some of the leading Fertility Centers, I was told I was no longer a candidate for fertility treatment.  It left me asking myself...

So now what?

For the years that followed, I tried to put myself back together and tell myself I would be OK, but I wasn't.  I was shattered - I felt alone and failed by the whole process and especially, my body.  I yearned for others that felt the pain I felt and someone that could help me navigate a life without a child. 

I didn't find it, so I decide to create it.  

Fast forward to today. I am still childless, but my beliefs about my life have changed.  I decided that I can create meaning and purpose in my life even though I am not a mother.  I've learned to love myself and the body I felt failed me as a woman.

If you've been on this journey, hop on and join me as we create something we were not offered.  Let's create a sisterhood for the bravest women I know.  We brush ourselves off and don't let terms like: Failed, Unexplained, Miscarriage, Not-viable or Advanced Maternal Age define us anymore.  

 

Jun 14, 2022

I am just wrapping up a week of being a solo dog mom.

 

My husband has been away for 10 days on a “boy's trip'' in Greece.  So many people are amazed that my hubby would go out of town and I’m OK with it. 

 

REALLY!?!

 

I've loved my alone time and the opportunity to hone in on some coaching concepts I've been working on in my own life, and preparing lessons for my students in The Belief Reinvention Experience

That said, I really miss him and I feel super grateful I am in a marriage with somebody that I miss.. I love that we  can feel sadness leaving each other, but are able to function and trust in each other and trust in our marriage to explore life independently and see the importance of growth beyond just our bond with one another.

 

I think it's so important that he has bonds with his friends and has a life outside of our marriage and finds independent ways to enjoy his time. I can’t tell you how grateful I am that I missed my husband these last 10 days.

 

I have been preparing for a while for this podcast, because we are going to be talking about something that will change your perspective. You might be a bit resistant to it in the beginning, because it will challenge you to question the way that you've been in relationships with yourself and  with others.

 There's nothing wrong with you if you get a little bit prickly when you're listening to these upcoming episodes, because it is something I was unsure I understood fully in the beginning. When I learned about “The Manual'', and understood how it was holding me back, I saw how restricted I was from truly being the best version of who I wanted to be in my life.

 

When it comes to being a human, we are very expectant of our lives working according to an instruction manual that we've compiled somewhere back in our mind. So maybe your instruction manual includes:

getting married,  

making $100,000 at your job, 

having a child 

being surrounded by people that support you 

being happy and laughing all the time. 

 

Many of us believe that we would be happier if someone or something in our lives would change, and this is a huge cause of our suffering because we are handing over the power of how we feel to somebody else. One of the most powerful things that I can teach you is that this just is not true. Never is it possible that you are suffering because of what somebody else is doing to you. Other people's behavior has no impact on us emotionally, until we think about it, interpret it, and choose to make it mean something. 

So no matter what people do, how they act, what they say, we don't have to give others the power to determine how we feel. The concept of having an instruction manual for others is absolutely mind altering.  It might be jarring for you. Iit makes sense because you have lived your whole life giving your power away and it may be difficult to realize that you have been doing this voluntarily and unnecessarily. 

Many believe that people should 

  • be kind and understand when you're frustrated
  • listen to you as long as you've listened to them
  • know the exact right thing to ask you before you go through your next cycle or now that you've concluded your fertility treatments
  • know that you're going to live the rest of your life without children. 

 

We have expectations of people to know the exact “right” or “wrong” thing to say. 

 

As long as you believe somebody has read the instruction manual of how to treat you, and be an effective part of your life, you are going to continuously be disappointed by others. 

I can teach you how to live your life according to your goals and expectations of yourself and diminish how other people's being an existence impacts your life in ways that cause you unnecessary pain and sadness.

In these next few episodes I’ll show  you examples of how you can become more aware of where instruction manual exists in 

  • your relationships 
  • your friendships
  • your workplace
  • your relationship and 
  • with yourself.

This is some of the most important work that you will do for yourself. 

I teach you how to understand the intricacies of manuals that we carry for others so you can seek emotional freedom to focus on creating and living a life that you truly love, even if you're not a mom. 

Sidenote:   I have a goal of 10,000 downloads of The “So Now What? Podcast” by Labor Day. My goal of hitting 10,000 downloads is not for my own ego, it is to help other women find the podcast and to help them start to understand HOW to love their life if they're not going to be a mom. The best way we can get that accomplished is if you go on and review the podcast; on Apple, Spotify, wherever it is that you're listening to this podcast.

Please take a few minutes to rate the podcast and give your review of the podcast and share how it has allowed you to think differently about living your life without children. Giving  a review will help other women find this podcast and YOU can help me reach my goal of 10,000 downloads by Labor Day of 2022.