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The "So Now What?" Podcast

I am a Fertility Survivor.  The kind you enter into treatments hoping you will never be... childless.  After several rounds of IUI and IVF, at some of the leading Fertility Centers, I was told I was no longer a candidate for fertility treatment.  It left me asking myself...

So now what?

For the years that followed, I tried to put myself back together and tell myself I would be OK, but I wasn't.  I was shattered - I felt alone and failed by the whole process and especially, my body.  I yearned for others that felt the pain I felt and someone that could help me navigate a life without a child. 

I didn't find it, so I decide to create it.  

Fast forward to today. I am still childless, but my beliefs about my life have changed.  I decided that I can create meaning and purpose in my life even though I am not a mother.  I've learned to love myself and the body I felt failed me as a woman.

If you've been on this journey, hop on and join me as we create something we were not offered.  Let's create a sisterhood for the bravest women I know.  We brush ourselves off and don't let terms like: Failed, Unexplained, Miscarriage, Not-viable or Advanced Maternal Age define us anymore.  


May 15, 2024

In this episode, we explore the intricate emotions surrounding birthdays if you are childless after infertility. Inspired by recent gatherings celebrating The Other’s Day Brunch, I highlight the complexities of navigating birthdays and offer insights on how to approach them with strength and hope.

Celebrating The Other’s Day Brunch:

Reflecting on recent events likeThe Other’s Day Brunch in Chicago and an ambassador-hosted event in Seattle, I acknowledge the increasing awareness of the challenges faced by women who are childless not by choice. These gatherings provide a supportive environment for sharing stories and finding solace amidst shared experiences and I am thrilled with the media attention given to this celebration and the awareness that was built about the complexities Mother’s Day offers so many women.

The Birthday Reflection:

Yesterday I celebrated my 50th birthday, and shared my candid journey of grappling with the anticipation of another year passing. This week I explore common sentiments felt by women facing infertility, such as questioning accomplishments, feeling the weight of time passing, and envisioning a future without motherhood.

Finding Meaning Beyond Motherhood:

The narrative shifts to empowering you to redefine your identity and aspirations beyond traditional expectations of motherhood. Despite the absence of children, there are numerous opportunities to pursue fulfillment and purpose.

Embracing Change and Self-Compassion:

Acknowledging the fear of failure and uncertainty, I encourage listeners to embrace change with self-compassion. By reframing narratives of disappointment and embracing vulnerability, individuals can cultivate inner strength and create new paths filled with meaning and joy.

Crafting Your Future:

I am urging you to reflect on their achievements and aspirations, regardless of societal pressures. By setting intentions and embracing personal growth, individuals can reclaim agency over their narratives and envision a future filled with possibilities.

A Letter to Yourself:

A poignant suggestion is made to write a birthday letter to yourself, celebrating your journey and path through infertility. This practice fosters self-appreciation and serves as a reminder of one's inherent worth and meaning.


As the host extends birthday wishes to herself, she emphasizes the transformative power of self-love and inner strength. I encourage you to revisit this episode whenever you need encouragement and to remember that your life and your journey is worthy of celebration.  Always.